more rambling

I have so much to say that I cannot even begin to write....I have read other blogs, they seem to serve purpose. My blog has truly turned into ramblings of my mind....so here goes some more. The law frustrates me so much that a 39 year old mother can deliver a child 2 months early because of alcohol and drug use and be smart enough to be in the hospital 2 days before delivery to make sure test comes back "clean". The same person can have lost custody to 2 previous children whom have serious issues and walk out of the hospital with this child with no one to answer to. I thought that pets were being mistreated in the US. I had no idea what we are doing to our children. Seriously, it scares me how much the law protects single, unwed mothers of all ages. There are many who are very deserving of help, but also several that are completely taking advantage of the system. Expecting handouts. Why do we question people if they decide to stay single and have no children?! Shouldn't we commend them in thinking things through instead of compulsively messing lives up...for being wise and not conforming to what society thinks should be....I think we should quit questioning why someone is single and start asking what is going on with Child Protective Services and why are they so overloaded with cases?!

ramble 2 for today is Sharon Gettelfinger...I am forever changed because of the example you showed....have fun swimming with the dolphins ....see you in heaven...

ramble 3 cancer...even the word is ugly....
ramble 4 homework...uggggg....

Beautiful Sharon

Sharon is a dear friend who has been fighting cancer for 6 years now. The first time I met her, I knew there was something different. Her faith is incredible. A lot like Abraham I would say. I am thankful to have met someone so pure in heart. She is truly one of the most amazing ladies I have ever met. Sharon, you will never know how thankful I am for meeting you and I will never look at things the same. Thank you for all you share and represent. You and your family are such a blessing. May your days be filled with things as beautiful as you are.

Children love as we show them love.....

What a whirlwind life is! You truly never know where you may have to go in this journey of life. I have found myself taking care of a preemie and not sure where it is headed. What I have discovered is...living in a loving home is rare, not common. It amazes me how overloaded our country is with children being neglected. The neglected that are just reported, not the ones that are not being reported. How much it takes to get a child out of a bad situation! How closed our doors are to bad situations. Opening our eyes and truly seeing things with our heart not just our mind would be a good start. However, I am learning that the heart must use reason with the mind to make sense of things. I am on a journey that I think will be named Peyton's Project. A project with heart and mind to try to help one, two, maybe thousands of kids that have never been given a chance. Somehow, try to reach out to those that have never been taught another way. With all that I have, I will be an empty vessel, so that Jesus can do the work I see Him pointing to. I am not sure if it is one or ................

What to do, what to do

Always thinking of you

Words are not my thing

To tell you how I feel

I will have to wait till Spring

No one knows how I feel

almost makes me ill

Clever words are not here

I wish I could be forward

For love goes unspoken

to he that was chosen

I wish I could express all that I hold dear

because it is for you that I cry that tear

Communication?!?

Communication is not one of my better areas. I think that is why I am in awe of how orcas communicate. I am amazed how easy it is to communicate with some and how it is not with others. I suppose that is why I love babies, dogs and kids. With babies, you take care of them and love on them. It is returned in the way they look at you. With dogs, it is the same. With kids, they at least tell you everything that is on their mind. The honesty in what they say is what I love. I wish as adults, we could do the same. So many things left unsaid. Too many things said. Words not needed, words needed. How do you decide?

Summer is passing so quickly. Life is not as I had planned. But I never had a plan. Now at the age of 37, after being sober for 8 years. I am trying to be a productive human instead of a destructive one.

Destination unknown

Life is not a destination, but a journey. It is hard for me to remember to enjoy the ride. I seem to be caught up in making it from point a to point b. Only to be looking for point c. Well, today is a reminder for me to enjoy the journey and not to miss the many blessings along the way. I am once again reminded that I am not in control.

Just another day?!

What would I do if today was my last day?

I know this is a subject that has come across movies, TV shows, etc. But two days ago our friend had his heart stop beating. He was revived and now in the hospital with strict instructions to quit smoking, change eating habits, and exercise. I wonder why I don't wake up with the thought "this could be your last day". Would I accomplish all the things I need to or would I spend the time with those I love the most. What unfinished business would I leave for others? I am sure I would watch what I say and pay closer attention to my kids. I'm quite sure I would not be proud of all that I have done, but the fact that I was not giving every day my best effort of all that it can be. I am sure God must know that it wouldn't work for us humans to know our last day. But every day is a time to make a difference. Whether it is to sit and tell your loved one/ones how much you love them, help that person that is struggling in life, or making the changes in yourself that need to be made or learning something new. I think I will be more cautious of what I say to people or maybe I will tell someone something I wouldn't normally tell them. I just hope when the day is done it won't be "just another day".

?Wonder!

I wonder how it must feel to be an orca trapped in a tank?!



It is beyond anything grasped that someone can put an orca in a tank/comparable to locking a human in a room(not sure on exact measurement comparison). How can we expect the orca not to toss their trainer around?! I suppose I might make someone my toy, if I wanted out of a room bad enough. Yes, I can understand how a sea animal may be harmed enough to need to stay in captivity. But to have the numbers and sales I suppose humans would like to see an enormously beautiful creature do tricks. What they were not created for. Ever wonder why their fin is so tall and strong in the wild and fallen over and curved on their back in captivity. I suspect it is their fin that guides them in the massive ocean they were born to swim in. Not a small cell humans have created for them. Sigh......